I remember leaving Istanbul for a crazy adventure almost four and half years ago, remember it like yesterday. It was one of the hardest decisions -as well as the BEST decision- in my life. Since then every year I visit home at least twice, one in summer and one in winter during Xmas break. And every time I get back things change, slowly but surely. New restaurants open, some closed, people move, friends get pregnant, have one kid or two etc etc… Even though feeling of HOME stays the same, it kinda changes.

The longer you stay away, the more foreigner you become to your home in a weird way. It feels like home but at the same time, you feel like a tourist in your own city. Always new spots to explore, new things to see. Not sure what to say when my friends ask me “where do I wanna go” these days since old ones doesn’t feel the same and new ones, I have no idea. It’s really very strange:)
Not sure if there is an easy way to describe it since this is a recent feeling that I – for the first time- felt like it.
When I told how I feel to my friend tonight, he said ” it’s not about you forgot your city, it’s about you replacing and filling your memory with a new one you call “home””…….Hmmmmmmm is that the reason why I feel that way? MAYBE!

One thing I’m so sure is that coming home is always extremely exciting, spending some quality time with my family, with my loved ones, friends, doing what I loved doing back home, long dinners -like tonight which was around 4 hours:)- coffee catch ups with friends, home cooked meals by my mom, my sisters breakfasts,my dads coming home with flowers, turkish bath, all the yummy food and feeling of being home. Makes me feel like a kid again since I’m in my protected area where my parents and loved ones always takes care of me. No need to be a solo fighter here in those two weeks, extremely relaxing:)

I have to admit that it is fascinating to be able to call two different cities as your home, even if it gets confusing sometimes or makes it a little tricky like switching between back and forth in two different languages but totally worth the experience, that’s why it was the BEST decision of my life! Although there is a little bit a roller coaster attached with all the mood swings and weird transitional feelings but hey no one said that it will be easy;)
Do I recommend an experience like mine?
Once you stretch your horizons, there is no going back. And one thing that is quite sure is you will be proudly say “THIS IS MY WORLD.” and I designed every single bit of it!

Ayca Xxxx

PS: Today’s look details below:
Jeans : JBrand
Turtle Neck :Zara
Coat : Academia
Boots: Sam Edelman
Location : Karakoy, Istanbul

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