“Home is not a place, it is a feeling.”

Over the last few months, the feeling of homesick got me so unexpectedly. Had no idea that I could still feel that even though I have been abroad for quite sometime. At first I didn’t realize what the reason was, but obviously something was a bit off somewhere inside me. Started getting emotional for little things, sometimes react certain things with no reason. Basically it makes you feel like  in a limbo going ups and downs between getting super emotional and pissed at the same time. One saturday I come to a realization when I did see that little girl walking in the street with her dad. I almost felt like a bee bite my heart – which burns you for a sec and makes your eyes watery. It was an immediate answer to my question… yeah girl, you are home sick.

Almost rushed home and texted my mom : Skype?

Immediate FaceTime calms the pain down a bit. Also learned that at the same moment on the other side of the world, my mom was feeling the same.She piked up the phone and started telling me about her day which one of her friends’ daughter was in town – who also lives abroad and happens to be same age as me – and they spend few days together. The day she was flying back to Canada, my mom was burst into tears in behalf of her mom:) Her friend was joking about her the entire day. She says “It’s so weird that I reacted to that, I must have missed you so much.” Well guess mom, ME TOO… Few more tear drops together over Skype and then we are good. Then started laughing and it warms my heart.

A month later today, I landed home- and nothing beats that feeling. Hugs and kisses and tons of quality time. Around them I am that six year old kid again with a baby sister who to me never grew since then {not to mention that she is married hahahaha} but still my little princess.

Have you ever feel lighter – like literally – when your family is around? Thats me with them. It doesn’t matter how old I am and what I do for living. I feel complete relaxation, like someone lifted off all my responsibilities from my shoulders. I fall asleep easier {when the jet lag is gone}, my non-stop “alert” mode switches off. It’s like walking into my safe castle which is surrounded by my dad’s soldiers where I don’t need to worry about anything, all the time protected and safe. As me friend @LydiaLauer mentioned in her recent post – feel like true royalty:) and yeah she is right:P

Agree, that’s something you can only feel – it is called HOME! When you combine that feeling with the physical place, then it is a retreat. So thats me in the next week!!!

No wonder I will be back fully recharged and refreshed. It makes my smile bigger:D

Ayca Xxxx


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