How comfortable you are with yourself when you are by yourself?
There are days when I really want to isolate myself from everything outside but be by myself. Those are my anti-social moments where I almost don’t want to talk to anyone:) Blame it on my introvert side taking over or intense work pace but I rally need those moments to recharge and find my center. Those times are absolutely precious to me.
Being by myself gives me the opportunity to hear my inner voice and to have a honest dialogue with myself. The more I hear me, the happier I am since it gives me the chance to actually see what “my soul” needs as opposed to what my brain thinks I need.
No surprises it definitely took some time to get to a point where I truly enjoy my own company. There were days I was running from one event to another ~blame it to the crazy energy a twenty year old have ~ where I thought that is what my soul needed. To be social, fill my soul with outside energy, connect with as more people as I possible can and enjoy life that way. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with that. As long as there is a balance of both, those are things we all need as human beings. Clearly at the age of twenty, you have more tendency to be on the edges. And I was not an exception to that rule. Until the moment I realized that I was basically using my apartment like a tourist uses her hotel room. It was as if you were in a city for few days where you want to see as much as possible and you only stop by in your room to shower, change and sleep for few hours. The behavior of living your days as if it is limited is fun for few days, weeks, months maybe however not sustainable in the long term.
Until I realized that I was basically running away from myself…
YES! That A-HA moment. At the core of it, I was not that comfortable with being by myself thats why I did chose to surround myself with a lot of people. Maybe I was afraid to hear my own voice, to face the fact that what I needed was something completely different. And at those moments you chose to do what is easier until inner you pushes you to the corner where you have no choice but face the reality. That is where the growth begins and you slowly start realizing what you need to work on for your self and eventually get more mature over time.
Years later from that A-HA moment, now I’m almost the opposite of how I was in my twenties. I selfishly chose ME time. And crazy thing is I have no FOMO by doing that. I finally come to an understanding that the most precious and longest relationship I will have in my life is the one with MYSELF. So I have to make myself my “best friend” first before anyone else.
I was listening to Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations recently and in one of the episodes’ Dr.Bernard Beckwith said “You have to like your self when you are by yourself.” Couldn’t find a better way to say it all. Mic dropped:)
With LOVE… From me, myself and I
Ayca Xxxx
JUST SAYIN'... 